Jessica.Talks.Too.Much.

10 things you want:

• Brandyn to come over right now
• Some headache medicine
• For it to not be hot
• This job to work out
• McDonalds Sweet Tea
• New clothes
• To fall in love
• Summer to last forever
• A pizza
• An iPhone

9 musicians/bands you love(currently):

• Fall Out Boy
• The Cab
• Never Shout Never
• Mayday Parade
• All Time Low
• City and Colour
• The Maine
• The Summer Set
• Lady Gaga

8 things you do everyday:

• Eat
• Get annoyed with stupid people
• Grow impatient
• Smile
• Laugh
• Sleep
• Text
• Hang out with Frankie :D

7 things you enjoy:

• Driving around with friends
• Bumpin it to really loud music
• My doggy, Frank
• Being weird
• Drinking & smoking haha
• Music
• Talking

6 things that will always win your heart:

• Someone with a nice tan
• Someone with good arm muscles
• Someone with a funny laugh
• Someone who makes me smile
• Someone who dreams big
• Someone who drives and listens to good music while doing so :D

5 favorites:

• Movie: Garden State <33
• Song (currently): Love The Way You Lie - Eminem ft. Rihanna
• Book: Hm. I don’t have one.
• Food: Pizzaaaa
• Season: Fall <3

4 scents or smells you enjoy:

• Good colonge
• Clean laundry
• Vanilla
• Bonfire

3 places you want to go:

• Chicago
• Vegas
• L.A.

2 favorite holidays:

• Forth of July
• Halloween

1 person you’d marry on the spot:

• Alexander DeLeon <3 

ever?

You’ve even started invading my dreams now & the times that I actually do stop thinking about you for 5 minutes, it would figure that you’d call me for no apparent reason, just to talk. :’)

What the hell man?
What. The. Hell.

Oh you, you’ve never know how much you really drive me insane.
You’ll never know how much I actually like it too. :/

- J.L.S.

I know. But who would have thought…out of all people. You. Would make me feel so fucking hard.

I hate you for it, but I like it at the same time. I’m not ready to give it up. As much as it hurts sometimes. I just can’t.

Goddamn you.

<3

that make life worth living.

:D Like today.

Everything is exactly how it should be. I have the best friends ever and I love every single one of them with all my heart. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without them. I love my sister. I love my dog. I love driving around. I love spending the day with amazing people. I love these comfy pajama pants, lol. I love mcdonalds sweet tea. Fuck! I just love summer and this has seriously been the best summer of my life. Oh and I fucking LOVE Fall Out Boy, so much, for being the perfect cherry on top of today. :’)

It was just one of those days that I felt infinite. Like I could take on the world, so much that I don’t want it to end, so I’m completely wired with happiness that I’m not even tired. Ha.

Gah. Perfect perfect day. :D

- J.L.S.

why is it that I get into these moods every now and then.

Lately, my “best” friends are the ones I can’t stand. Their constant up and down mood swings, when there is nothing to be sad/angry about going on. Never being allowed to just hang out alone anymore.

It gets old. Really old.

At the house alone tonight. Just me and Frankie. And I couldn’t be happier about it.

I’m gonna cook, hang out in my pajamas, maybe watch a movie, sleep, play with Frankie, and just chill out.

Sometimes I wish I knew more people, who were cool, who drove and were willing to come over. Keep me company and just hang out. It’d be chill. 

You make it so hard. I don’t look at any other guys the way I look at you. Its just not the same. They don’t measure up. You’re all I want. It scares me so much. And I hate you for it. I hate me for letting myself get so involved. But I want more.

You’re like a fucking drug. Why is it so impossible to stop?

I miss you when I’m not with you. When I’m with you, I can’t get enough.

Those days where we hang out and do absolutely nothing are some of the best this summer. Maybe, its just a summer thing. But regardless, I’m having fun. Just trying not to get so involved.

The current distance between us sucks, but its probably a good thing. :/

I just hate myself for letting this shit happen yet again. I get too involved, for nothing. It sucks. I always end up getting hurt in the end.

- J.L.S.

You broke my heart and you don’t even know it. It was over before it had even had a chance to begin. There was always something holding you back. From telling me how you really felt. Or showing me. Its not like the opportunity didn’t present itself… multiple times.

The way you’d look at me, I could see it in your eyes. Like a silent secret, staring me down. I wonder if you could see it in my eyes as well. Eating at me, every day. All I wanted was to tell you and for you to drop everything that was hurting you and take my hand for once. Discover something new. Something different. Something we both wanted. But you were just to afraid to do anything about it.

There wasn’t much more for me to do but wait and you never came.

You broke my heart and you don’t even know it; and sometimes, I still find myself wanting you. Wishing for something that will probably never come.

We could have been amazing. It could have been so real. If you had only given me a chance. You would have seen it. Proven everyone wrong. Felt alive.

Because that was how you made me feel everyday, all the way to the end.

- J.L.S.

You are constantly on my mind. When I’m not with you and especially when I am. Those moments of silence between us, all I can do is look at you and wonder what your thinking. I wish I knew. I wish I could get inside your mind sometimes. Just to know how you really feel. About everything.

I wish I could step inside your shoes. Just to see things from your point of view. To discover you completely, from your eyes. Live your everyday life. Figure you out.

Sometimes you are seriously like a brick wall with a hidden message. You are so hard to read and I wish I just knew. I wish you’d just stop putting up this wall. Just break it down and tell me everything.

I wanna know. So open up to me. I’m not gonna go anywhere and I want to listen.

- J.L.S.

there isn’t anyone specific out there who I want to be.

But more, someone who I ideally try to better myself as everyday. I wanna be that nice girl, who everyone gets along with. Who has TONS of REALLY CLOSE friends. Who looks of the brightside, all the time. The girl who falls in love and stays in love. Who can be one of the guys, and still be the coolest girl. The girl who is random and silly, and happy all the time, but when she breaks down, its no joking matter. That girl who is deep with her words and makes you think with her inspirational quotes. I wanna be that girl who instantly clicks with certain people, the girl who is understood for being different. I wanna be that girl who is confident in herself. Who has a sense of unique fashion and creativity. That girl who lets loose, doesn’t hold grudges, and takes chances. I wanna be that girl who has goals, dreams, and is not afraid to chase them. That girl who wants the big city and is fascinated by bright lights. I wanna be that girl who is happy and loves her life everyday to the fullest.

And I’m on my way to becoming that girl with each day.

- J.L.S.

1. I’m 17.
2. I’m listening to Parkway Drive’s new CD Deep Blue right now.
3. Its amazing.
4. I wanna mosh to it right now. Really fucking bad.
5. I made up with Nicole.
6. I hate fighting with her.
7. Me, her, matt, and larry are all trying to get together later.
8. I got this idea from Lily, Dom’s little sister.
9. She’s awesome.
10. She gave me my first silly bandz.
11. Its all Brandyn’s fault I’m into Parkway Drive all the sudden.
12. He’s a buttface.
13. But he’s awesome.
14. He got me Mcdonalds tonight.
15. It was fucking delicious.
16. I’m watching Malcolm in the Middle.
17. There is a marathon on.
18. Frank just woke up.
19. I love him.
20. Brandyn calls him Jelly Bean. 
21. I’m not sure why exactly.
22. I’m home for the first time in like, 3 days, two nights.
23. Its weird.
24. I’m not really tired.
25. I gotta pee.
26. I love Kayla.
27. My phone is acting weird lately.
28. That pizza from last night was so fucking good.
29. So was that weed.
30. I was fucking blazed.
31. I love smoking weed.
32. So much.
33. I don’t ever wanna stop.
34. I want a hookah.
35. I can’t wait to be 18, so I can go to the hookah bar with mandy, corbin, and troy.
36. It should be fun.
37. I miss fun nights at Corbin’s.
38. Playing beer pong til really late.
39. Chillin.
40. Passing out on the couch. Cuddled.
41. I’m kinda hungry.
42. k2 is weird.
43. That pipe from today was weird.
44. My leg is itchy.
45. It needs to stop.
46. I wish I had a popcorn jelly bean right now.
47. So good. Probably my favorite jelly bean ever.
48. I keep twisting my lip ring around.
49. I love talking to guys who listen to NSN.
50. Its funny.
51. Whoa. Ryan Selvy just IMed me on Facebook.
52. I miss that kid. <33
53. I’m running out of things to say.
54. I feel bad for missing Rachelle’s call today.
55. We have a lot of catching up to do.
56. I wish I had this whole CD right now.
57. I really just want the whole thing.
58. I wish I had more sweet tea.
59. I love that shit.
60. Mcdonalds knows whats up.
61. I wish my computer was faster.
62. But I’m glad I have one.
63. Malcolm in the Middle is still on.
64. I actually really love this show.
65. Sometimes I really miss getting high with Dom and all his friends.
66. Those were some fun times.
67. Ha. And Dom’s silly little car.
68. It was fun to drive that one time.
69. The time Brandyn, Mandy, Corbin, and I went to Sandusky, was probably one of my favorite nights of the summer. Actually. It was. That was ridiculous.
70.  I hope its cool in my room.
71. Lately, its felt like a heat bath.
72. I’m kinda sick of this intense heat.
73. I like fall the best.
74. Perfect weather.
75. But I also like being tan.
76. My tan is fading.
77. I need to lay out.
78. I wish I had money.
79. I really wanna go shopping.
80. I love going out to places in the early hours of the morning.
81. Like IHOP and Steak & Shake.
82. I love my friends who don’t have schedules at all and they are down to do that all the time.
83. Going back to Maryland a few weeks ago, made me realize how much richer people are there.
84. It made me realize that all my friends are like, so different here in so many ways, but at the same time, still just the same.
85. I miss having more friends.
86. I miss going to Jackson.
87. Online schooling isn’t that great.
88. It gets lonely.
89. Plus, I really need to catch up on shit.
90. So I can graduate on time.
91. Sucks, I gotta wait til August to start working again.
92. I wish I could just freaking drive.
93. I wish I could just get a fucking job already.
94. Its getting really old now.
95. Like, really fucking old. Same with not driving.
96. I have so many plans for the end of the year and when I turn 18.
97. Without a job, they won’t be possible. At all.
98. Its sad I don’t even care about school.
99. I’m more concerned with getting a job and getting out of here by the time I’m 18.
100. I’m super tired and this took forever. So goodnight. :D

Hm…someone from my childhood.

Let’s see. There isn’t anyone specific who I wanna talk about for this one.

:/ I sat and thought about for a while. Sorry. SKIP.

-J.L.S.

Rachelle Helen Ciulla.

My best friend. States away. But still as close as ever.

I love her with all my heart <3 Forever. Obviously, we have a really strong bond too.

-J.L.S.