May 2013
3 posts
I can’t stop thinking about you. About the excitement and rush I get from your presence. Living in every moment I can. The adrenaline of sitting passenger in your V8, the rumble and darkness of the night beneath us. How I crave you and I see you everyday. How I completely hate you. Wishing I could edit you like a new story. God damn me and my problems. But I’m stuck on you like a bad...
I must have a problem wearing my heart on my sleeve. Always wanting something. Someone. A fill in for the empty space occupying my mind. My heart is nothing but a light weight. So desperate. So unhappy. Taped and mended together from fragile strings. So much confusion mixed with pain. The way the timing of my mind doesn’t click with anything going on inside my chest. How I’m so tired...
April 2013
3 posts
When the world is completely against you and you just wanna go…
If you don't love me, pretend.
It’s too late to cry. Too broken to move on. It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert.
Why I can’t stop writing about you. Repeating myself. Trying to make sense of the thoughts in my head and emotions that just won’t shut off. While I still crave your presence. Your distance from me in the most romantic way. Words I don’t even know how to piece together...
I have this fucked up idea...
In my head. Start swingin drugs like crazy, making bank from doing it the right way. Being smart and not having to work your 8-5, Monday-Friday. Tellin everyone to eat shit and not giving a fuck. Being a little bit more of a dare devil. Experience the young crazy lifestyle. Money. Money. Money. It’s not worth puttin up with this shit. I wanna win bank. I wanna party. Party fucking hard....
March 2013
6 posts
B
Tangled up in blue.
So so tangled up in blue.
Forgetting you.
Only knowing careless love.
Making me lonesome as you go.
Making me cry if only you’d know.
Staying with you forever.
Never realizing the time.
Looking up into to those safire tinted skies.
I used to care but things have changed.
Locked in tight. Out of range.
Trying to get as far away from myself as I...
Control.
How is it that, after so long of constantly putting myself in the same situations, I still haven’t learned. How is it that I am always dissecting everything in my head down to every tiny last detail. How is it that I’m like a magnet when it comes to the wrong guys.
The neighbor. Who I managed to fall completely head over heels for and why? Since when did someone like that become my...
February 2013
35 posts
I wish I knew how to stop missing you.
To stop the thoughts in my head from thinking of you. Remembering the days we used to share and how you just let me go. Didn’t try to chase me. Pretended to care. I’d wish you miss me. The softness of my lips and the way you’d somehow stop the world for a moment. It sucks realizing not all people stick around. I guess I just wish you would’ve been around a little bit...
You only text me when you realize you love me
…because you forget and then she turns around and breaks your heart. Or you feel alive, as if breaking up with her is a revelation, and you wanna share the good news with the only girl who actually matters. Like suddenly its gonna make a difference. I’m your get away from reality. Just me, the girl you damanged with the half broken heart. Yet, I still would jump in front of a bus for you. How I...
So sick of feeling empty.
Of hiding in my head. Lost in my thoughts. Just waiting for a breakdown. Wishing I could just feel better. I wish I knew how to be more happy. To stop reminding myself I’m so alone and all anyone ever wants is to just pick me up and drop me just as fast. I’m so tired of this feeling.
I'm so tired...
…of hearing the same conversation every day. The constant complaining, venting, bitching. The over dramatic arguments between employee and boss. The negativity. Its like prison here. Yes. I want a new job. But I also don’t feel the need to discuss it everyday.
It’s sad that I can’t seem to let go. How you could just turn around and change it all in a heartbeat, but you won’t. Ever. How I’m holding on for no reason. How I care so much about people that are too cold hearted to realize. To be appreciative. Returning the favor, but not how I wanted. How I mean absolutely nothing to you. I’m just another friend. Another person...
I'm so desperate for male attention...
its ridiculous.
January 2013
3 posts
Constant thoughts running through my head, learning to shut them off. Thinking back in time. Of people I used to know. Times I once had. Summer days with no care in the world. Waking up next to you and the sound of fresh coffee beans grinding up. Those humid nights with the long stretch of those back roads beneath the tires, smoke filling the air. Getting lost. The nights we stayed isolated from...
